Diplomatic skills, as you will discover in this article, are needed for success in the 21st century. Unlike any time in human history, the global diversity is at its highest level. We live in such a globalized world with so many differences. We live in communities, attend schools or work in places where our neighbor to the right is from far East and the one to the left is from far West.As such, our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge these differences; yet our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them.Diplomacy acknowledges differences and embraces diversity. This is exactly what this article hopes to accomplish – to help you acknowledge and deal with differences in culture, race, religion and ethnicity while embracing this diversity.

I normally like to draw from my very own life experiences. As the famous saying goes ‘Experience is the best teacher’ so have I learned from them. Growing up in Dar Es’ Salam, Tanzania, one of my greatest tests of diplomacy was dealing with the different kinds of people in my high school. For some time, the school was trying to contain the commotion caused by notorious students on campus. Expulsion and suspension rates were increasing. The student leaders – who were to be catalyst for positive change – were unable to contain the situation without inciting more offense and anger. The student government at the time under the head prefect who was also one of my friends and brothers Mr Raymond Maro, was leaving the office. After much discussion between Raymond and the headmaster, the headmaster thought it would be best to appoint a student leader – a person of influence – who could not only relate with the good students, but also with the notorious students equally. While I was in form four, I was appointed and promoted to become the head prefect of the school from being a dormitory prefect. In his words, the headmaster told me that the reason he had appointed me into this role was because of my “active involvement and the ability to get along very well with almost everybody in the school.” So much so that I was nicknamed ‘Mr Mashughuli’ or in short ‘Mashu’ a Swahili name which translates ‘Mr Occasions’. I was everywhere.

At the time, the form four class was one of the most notorious in the school. That class had an unusual mix of all kinds of unruly students. This would be the first time for me to unleash the true diplomatic qualities in me. The true test of diplomacy is not when everyone has a perfect understanding, but when things are imperfect and you try to look for solutions in the midst of chaos.

Thankfully, owing to specific approaches and tacts, my team and I were able to contain the situation peacefully that year. The greatest achievement for me then, – was being able to achieve this result without ensuing enmity. In the past, suspended or expelled students would sometimes pick up fights outside the school or even during holidays with the prefects; blaming them for being the reason behind their apprehension. I had to come up with a different strategy which would benefit everyone. In the end, I was honored with the best leader award from my school during my O-Level (form four) graduation.

The rewards of diplomacy in dealing with people are enormous. Although awards are great, they are not the greatest benefits of living a diplomatic life. It’s only a public recognition of a deeper value you have created. The greatest benefit is the impact made; it is the lives transformed and the society reformed. Awards do not give you a long lasting fulfillment. But seeing how hatred and indifferences turn into love and peace is indeed a fulfillment everyone should desire to have.

Unfortunately, not many people I know today possess this rare quality that has opened tremendous doors for me, and made me a happier person. It is a quality that should be desired by everyone across different spheres of influence. My sphere of influence then was my secondary school. Today, it is my place of work. Yours may be different. You may be the ambassador of the greatest nation on earth, or the prefect of the smallest school in town, the value created by leading a diplomatic life has a ripple effect in changing the world.

It is important to set the first foundation stone here. That is, diplomacy has its roots not in effective communication, in mutual understanding or in respect – but in genuine love. Without genuine love, respect will be superficial and will not be there long enough when problems arise; understanding can be unreachable and effective communication will only do so much. If however, we have genuine love for all, we can indeed live a diplomatic life. In leadership, genuine love for people begins with:

Loving yourself as a leader. This calls for self-awareness and acceptance. Knowing who you are and appreciating it. If you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to love others, the ones you lead. This is an inside-out process.

Honoring others is an important fundamental that is also a strong foundation for diplomacy. Showing empathy and respect to others. One of my mentors once told me that, whatever you honor, you influence. Given that leadership is about influencing others, therefore we can safely conclude that honoring is the key fundamental of leadership.

Genuine love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. As a leader it is imperative to see the positive in people rather than the negatives. Capitalize on people’s strengths and minimize their weaknesses. Philosophers believe that ‘See a man as he is, he becomes worse, but see him as he could be and he becomes what he should be’.

Moreover, genuine love is not self-seeking. A leader must always put the interests of others first before his. Removing selfish desires and promote generosity. We have seen the opposite of this in most of our African country leaders. Self-driven ambitions and desires have taken over leading to corruption and greediness for power and wealth. The results are of course always catastrophic.

Lastly, genuine love is not easily angered. As a leader you must be able to exercise self-control and a high level of emotional intelligence and stability in dealing with people. This is because people and situations are different and everyone and each one will require a different handling technique or methodology. One must not allow his/ her judgment to be clouded by emotions. This often leads to regrets.

In my book, The Diplomat In you, I have shared about the struggles I faced in dealing with people as leader. It is not easy to love people especially when they are intolerable and don’t seem to be lovable. Yet without this we will not achieve the true happiness, fulfillment, peace and influence we desire. Once you possess this kind love, then other tools that you will learn in the book will be of a great impact to your life. I often like to equate this to a little pin fixed onto a big wooden pole. Throwing a single pin at someone will have little effect. In fact, it will just fall off without any impact. But when attached with a wooden pole, the impact is felt and is greater. The pin represents all other leadership and people handling skills, and the wooden pole is LOVE.

I believe we, the young people have the power to take the lead in any development agenda and transform our societies and nations at large when we practice the pin and wooden pole example. Young people should not abuse their greater access and success of knowledge to position themselves in corrupt and parasitic segments. Rather to be an example to all in our speech, conduct and LOVE. Once we do this genuinely, we are bound to succeed in making the world a better place.

Jonathan Ndali

Speaker and Author of ‘The Diplomat In You’